Sleeping with....... crocodiles????

I had two dreams last night... neither one majorly long but both very interesting in different ways.
Now please don't read anything into this first one coz I know there is absolutely nothing there.... anyway, in my dream I'm in bed just waking up on the right side and see this woman next to me asleep. Instinctively I give her a little peck on her bare shoulder (calm down fellas..) and she reacts pretty damn well I must say, so I take it a little further (little kiss here, little kiss there) and she is loving it even though half asleep (please note: said kisses all occur on the shoulder and neck region). Here I am ready to wake her up and take it to the next level when I happen to look over her to the left side. Who do I see?? ........................... her husband!!! also fast asleep. Holy fuckin moly!! Now I know this couple and some of you might know them as well but I sure as hell ain't saying who they are!! He was still sleeping away but the shock just killed any chance of that dream going on. Kind of anticlimactic but I guess it's a dream where you had to be there, and thank goodness none of you were..... hehe

Moving on..........

I now find myself in sort of an indoor swamp where the water is that dirty brown colour you can barely see through, but I could see just fine coz I was right there!! and the damn swamp was full and I mean full of crocodiles! Holy crap these bastards were huuuge and they were mean!! Luckily I happened to be there in a spectator capacity rather than chopped meat capacity but it was freaky nonetheless. I wade through the murky depths observing away in now relative peace and tranquility knowing I was not actually there, but of course I have to find a way to screw myself don't I? I come to the far edge of the swamp or pool or whatever the hell it was which ends up at a smooth wall, with no way of getting out. There are these guys there, on a huge log, laughing and joking away trying to keep their balance and just plain enjoying themselves. Some of these jokers keep falling in and casually climbing back onto the log without any attention from the crocs which just bamboozled me!! added to the fact that I now was actually with them on the damn log trying to hang on coz no way was I going in that damn water. Damn white kids!! Always gotta be the white guys doing this crazy shit eh? You won't see no Indian or Ghanaian jumping on a log with fuckin crocodiles all around!! Please disregard that last bit... hehe. Just a joke I heard on tv once about white guys always doing extreme sports whereas the black guys would stand around and say "You crazy??!?!?! I ain't doin that shit! Hell No!!!" I'm branching.... sorry. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I did end up in the water and was happy to wake up in my bed rather than somebody's crocodile purse.

Good night all..... sweet dreams.

Serial Killa!!

Happy New Year all.... If there is one thing we cannot control in our lives, it's our dreams. One night you are dreaming of some fiiiiiine ass woman showing you a good time, and the next night you are dreaming of some maniac trying to stick a pitchfork in your belly. Gotta love them though.....

It starts off with a group of us staying in this beat up two storey house. Our main character (the only one I remember anyway) happens to be a buddy of mine living in Dubai. None other than Mr. Ravi himself!! Sorry pal..... hehe
Anyway, Ravi for some reason starts going on a mad killing spree... and looking at the size of him you know he can do some damage. Ok, let's move on... the remaining few of us manage to subdue him permanently (as in dead) and we leave him in a body bag in the police station. This is where you see him in a body bag dead as a door knob one minute and in the next minute you turn around he's gone.

Fast forward to our house with the three remaining survivors and myself. Here we are chilling, talking and out of nowhere Ravi pops up right in our midst!! He was covered in blood yet looked as if he was just there hanging out with us, ready to go partying. Now in the horror movies, there is always one serious dumbass who runs off on his own right? Of course he gets killed first and unfortunately, shamed as I am to admit it, that dumbass in this instance was me. Yep, me!! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! It happened like this.... We are standing in the living room upstairs in sort of a square formation, two facing two. Ravi somehow finds himself between the two guys opposite me. Now we could have done this a few different ways. Either we all charge down the stairs and run for our lives or we all charge Ravi and kill his ass.... again!! I know I would not do this in real life but before anybody made a move, I turned tail and flew down those stairs. Of course Ravi decided to come after me rather than grab the guys next to him... bastard! :)
I ran outside into the darkness slamming the door behind me to give me a little time. Instead of running down the street in plain view I quickly crossed over to the other side and slid behind the hedges before he got to the door. I was lying on my stomach peeping through the bushes when I see Ravi charging out the door and running down the road faster than I have seen anybody run in my life. My heart was pounding like crazy, but I needed to stay there for a little while to make sure he was far, far away.

Just when I start to think I might make it (like in the movies), a boot rests on my back.......




Price you pay for being a dumbass.