I dont know guys...the last few nights have been hard. After Monday's incident, I have been trying to force myself not to dream about it or think about it...I've been thinking, Damn...I hope I dont dream of it...but what happenned was everytime I woke up at night to turn or whatever...my brain keeps saying ...ok dont dream of it...dont see that pic in your mind..dont...dont...dont!! But what happens? Just because I am trying so hard NOT to dream it or see it in my mind's eye...i keep seeing it. That was Monday and Tuesday night. Last night was better. I slept good cos I was tired from lack of sleep. Its passing though...i dont think so much of it anymore...but every morning when I pass by on the Ala Wai...i still think of it. Luckily though...that street is not my daily route to work!! I guess in time I will forget about it...but how do you completely forget something so traumatic...it even comes up in your dreams???
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Hey Lavi, that sounds rough man. I mean, to see another person lifeless, that is really spooky man. I've had a couple of incidents in my life where I'm seen people like that, and it's still in my head. However, you learn to make peace with it and then it becomes something of a sort of 'philosophical' example that you reflect on. Don't let it get to you man. It's only traumatic if you think it is. No doubt a scene like that would've haunted anybody, but thinking that this person was a very lonely soul who took it upon himself to end his life and, as a result, his responsibility or whatever he thought he owed this world...that should make you want to reach out to other people like this who come into your life. Trust me bro, some of us are a lot closer to things like that than others.
You know what, now that I think about it...you should have a dream about it...and as you analyze the dream, you'll see that it's not as much of a 'thing' anymore. Let us know how it goes bro. And take care of yourself.
Lavi, I think you just have to let this run it's course man. The harder you try not to think or dream about it, the harder it will be to forget about it. Just take whatever comes your way and let it go dude. That's what I woulda done. Let something come, do it's thing, and move on.
You know what....they say you dream about what your subconscious mind thinks about the whole day ... now you can't exactly control what your subconscious mind thinks about...but maybe you can help yourself by letting it think happy thoughts...then you can dream nice stuff in the night.......so begin by thinking nice stuff in the day :p and not stressing too much ... about things that don't need so much attention!!! Maybe in that way, you won't gross so many people out !! Haha, just kidding!! cheers :) and sweet dreams !!!
Yeah i think Rohin, Amit and anony are right. I decided to just let it be and its passing slowly...I dont think about it as much and I think in time it will be cool. Maybe I should dream about it so that its just over you know...or maybe just dont even think or try to control anything...let whatever happens happen and see what happens while other things are also happening...ahhh??
I totally agree that the best way to let it go is to do just that....let it go.....which means allowing for all the experiences that are taking place to take place. Giving them space. Resisting will only aggravate the issue. The experiences you are having as a result of the incident will come and they will go at their own time.
Good stuff people....glad to hear things are better lavi.
why has jax stopped posting? did he get the job?
Sorry guys, I've been a bit busy with work...and no, I haven't heard from them about the job.
Lavi bro, hope things are getting better in terms of this. It's like the time that my grandmom's sister-in-law came home (my grandmom's place...or the family home, as they say) and after sitting down for a while she said she was feeling uncomfortable. She tried laying down, and drinking water and all that, still nothing. We went to her house (it's not too far away) and get her medicine. Still no improvement. Then we went to this pharmacist-type guy (a medical compounder he's called...i think) because she told us that he knows what injection to give her. He, however, didn't want any part of it because if something happened to her then he would get into trouble. She did have a history of medical issues, but that was in the last couple of years before this. Then, as she struggled to just relax and take it easy, I decided to walk the dog...because if something did happen, or if she got sick and had to stay home then people would ignore the dog. So, we're standing in the garden and the dog is doing his thing, when suddenly, there is this awful noise coming from the inside of the house. Both the dog and I jumped back and looked at the house. I can't describe the sound really, but it was like an indrawn breath/shriek by a person with a deep voice...almost like a person was groaning as they were breathing in...but a hellish groan, if you will. Anyway, I returned the dog to his usual spot, and then I ran into the house, and before I knew it my grandmother was crying and people were asking me to check her pulse and see if I could wake her up.
I don't know man, sometimes things happen when you least expect it. She came over for tea and to have a bit of a chat, and she passed away. Such is life man. But although I remember this story (happened about 5 years ago) and it's pretty vivid in my mind, at the moment it's more like a story, or an anecdote. So, hang in there bro. Take care of yourself.
Like Amit said, it has to run its course.
I've has two people die in front of my eyes, both very close to me. It's extremely disturbing, those last few moments, those last few breaths. It was at a time when most of this stuff was still hard to comprehend...back when I was a teenager. I hate watching people die. There's a deep silence I cannot explain. You can't even hear people cry around you, can't even hear yourself think.
Then, there's the time in Bangalore where we were coming back from the bar and saw the scooterist that was run over by the truck moments ago. Only saw half of him because that's all that was left. That was one day I didn't need alcohol to puke my guts out. So lavi, I know exactly how you feel. I didn't ride my bike for days after that. But you'll get over it man...I am testimony to that.
You have to let it all go. Forget everything you know about life, and just let it run its course. The problem you're having is trying to justify it. Don't. Things just happen. Sometimes, you don't need to understand the issue to be able to learn from it.
Shit happens man, shit happens.
All you guys are definitely right...thanks for the thoughts. I think its passed, yesterday I went to work using the same road and although I looked at that spot...it didnt really bring up any thoughts or emotions...it was just ....nothing, you know. I knew what happened there but thats all...i didnt feel the same as the first day.
I guess shit happens, and then you have to flush it...and let it go into the sewer where its supposed to go...and you have a clean toilet bowl again...ready for more shit and ready to flush.. and keep going in the circle of bowel movement...shit happens...LOL!!
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